first blog....

So it's my first blog.... I've been meaning to journal for some time now, but it's so much faster to write online. I can't believe that 7 months has already flown by... It seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant, and Now I'm the mother of a 7 month old... She's my world. But sometimes it feels that I'm never going to experience anything again.... I miss my old town. I miss my friends ( who are still single and don't have families yet). I have a great SO.... but our relationship has changed drastically since our daughter was born... We use to be affectionate and caring to each other, but now it seems like all we do is fight or not talk. I wrote a good friend the other day... and after I sent out the letter, I emailed him and told him not to read it. After reading his response to my email, I realized that was the reason why I wrote him, because he's so understanding. I just wish that sometimes I could be that young girl, who didn't have a care in the world, and honestly believed that the fairy tail ending happens. Now, I'm a unwed mother, with a boyfriend and father to my child living in my parents home, and I just know in my heart this is not how it's suppose to happen... I wanted a guy to sweep me off my feet, I wanted the white wedding, I wanted to have a house and stable job before starting a family.... it seems like I did this all backwards. I love my so with all my heart, but I don't feel that I'm 100% ready to settle down for the rest my life....